Most of us grew up thinking that success goes to either the biggest, strongest, prettiest, most talent or the smartest. However, you’ve probably heard that success doesn’t go to those people, it actually goes to the the bold. I’ve made several blog posts and videos about the subject and you can read some of them right here:
Since we know that success is more about your boldness than it is about the skills you’ve developed or the gifts you were born with, it always helps if you can find ways to become more confident and bold.
Most of our communication is nonverbal.
We all make judgements (whether they are right or not, or even if they are fair or not) about people before we get a chance to speak to them. If you don’t believe me then take note of the thoughts you have about people when you are walking down the street. We make judgements about body size, the way they look, how they are dressed, the clothes they are wearing, how they stand and the expressions their faces.
Our default actions aren’t about who we think we are, or even how others think of us. They are how we think that others think about us.
“I am not who you think I am; I am not who I think I am; I am who I think you think I am ” ~Thomas Cooley
Even if you’ve heard that before, let that sink in for a moment.
Someone’s perception of you will change the way the act and how they treat you. The way they treat you will also impact how you think and act. If they treat you like you are confident, you are more likely to act more confident.
Since we know that 90% or more of our communication is nonverbal, if we wanted to look more confident, not only should we pay attention to what we say but we should also pay more attention to how we act.
It would be nice if we would remember to always stand tall with our shoulders back and put a smile on our face bit even if we try to do that we will eventually revert back to habits. Our subconscious actions don’t perform to our expectations, they instead perform in line with our habits.
Here is a technique that I learned about while I was listening to a podcast that I call the doorway drill that will build more confidence.
Every time you walk through a doorway, remember to stand tall and smile. Don’t over do it, otherwise it will look fake. If you really want to boost your results then quietly say something to yourself that will give you a boost. Something simple like “I am amazing” or “People like me” Remember to do this everywhere you go even when you are alone or at home.
Why It Works
Remember how we prejudge others by the way they look and act?
And remember how 90% of our communication is non verbal?
By doing something simple like standing tall and looking confident, you will appear more confident to them and they will treat you different. When they start to treat you different, then you will actually feel more confident, which will make you look more confident (which will make you act more confident and then people will treat you different) and the cycle will continue and repeat itself.
The more you do this the more confident you will be. This won’t happen over night. As a matter of fact, that’s why I suggest that you do this even when you are at home or alone. You are developing a habit. The pod cast told me it would take about 3 weeks to a month for you to see a difference.
Are you ready to look more confident and feel more bold? Then try the door way drill and share how it worked for you!
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