Orignally Posted Here: http://www.finerminds.com/personal-growth/the-confidence-factor/
Here’s the thing: there’s nothing special about me. I am a regular person with flaws, shortcomings and bad days, but when you develop courage muscles and inner-confidence, you don’t let anything hold you back.
The root cause of low confidence and self-esteem is insufficient self-love, so we must develop a positive view of self that will motivate us to take action, make changes and stay resilient when we face setbacks.
“Self-confidence is the first requisite to great undertakings”. Samuel L Johnson
Confidence is critical to our performance in the workplace, and is also an essential component to create and maintain healthy relationships. When we have the confidence factor, we become powerful, engaging and inspiring as we are authentic and at ease with ourselves. We are proactive, rather than defensive, and can laugh at ourselves.
Our perception of ourselves has an enormous impact on how others perceive us. If we are not confident, how can we thrive? Sure, not everyone wants to be a worldwide leader, but when we are self-confident we become a leader in our own world as it determines how many of our goals we achieve.
3 Simple Steps to Get “The Confidence Factor”
1) Create a success journal
List all your achievements, as they will form the backbone of your self-confidence. Ask yourself, “What do I feel most proud of?” Is it your children, your body, facing an issue head on, being honest with someone, setting a boundary or perhaps supporting a friend?
Dispel any irrational beliefs and lies when your head tells you that you are not good enough. Stay true to yourself and remind yourself constantly of your achievements by carrying your success journal with you at all times. Focus each day on one thing that makes you feel good about yourself. Remember – daily positive rituals will raise inner-confidence.
2) Tell yourself, “I can, I will”
Repeat this constantly throughout the day and really feel it when you say it, especially when someone upsets you or something you want to happen doesn’t materialize. At night take a piece of paper and add a margin across the top and down the left-hand side. In the margin across the top write, “I can and I will” in capitals.
Then, in the middle of the page, write down what it is that you want to accomplish. It could be taking a tiny action step towards your dream, thinking positively or losing weight. On the left-hand side, write out what the consequence is for not doing it, and list at least one action you will take to make it happen.
3) Be assertive
We must value ourselves and not allow anyone to diminish us. Here’s the thing, the cost of not standing up for ourselves comes at a high price, as every time we neglect ourselves by not asking for what we want and need, or we don’t confront others who are disrespecting us – we erode our self-respect, confidence and self-esteem. When talking to someone you have difficulty being assertive with, try the following:
•Keep emotional sound control
•Don’t make excuses
•Be direct and honest
•Practice, prepare and plan what you want to say
•Have direct eye contact
•Keep it simple and specific
•Keep your tone neutral
And if someone is being aggressive, say “I am happy to hear what you have to say, but not whilst you speak to me in that tone.”
Self-confident people strut their stuff in a calm, centered way and glide towards a goal or an action with a sense of purpose, believing they are worth it. It doesn’t matter if we are a student or a chairman – our health, family, career, wealth and personal relationships improve dramatically when we have the confidence factor. Always remember that empowerment comes from you remembering each day to believe in yourself. It’s your time to shine, so work on it as you are worth it.