If you are unable to or if you refuse to forgive someone because you are “right”, you are carrying bitterness around with you. It might only be a small amount but you are still carrying it around with you.
People Can Sense The Bitterness
Even if it’s small, and even if you are trying to hide it, people can still sense “something”. Just like a dog can smell fear, people can feel bad vibes from others.
Unfortunately, when they feel the bad vibes, they aren’t thinking,
“Oh this person has been hurt or wronged by someone in the past. That’s why I’m getting this feeling.”
They are instead thinking,
“I don’t know why but there is something about that person that just rubs me the wrong way.”
This feeling they can block you from meeting knew people and can block you from new opportunities. If you forgive, your life will get easier, your opportunities will become more abundant and things will just seem to “click” better with you.
Forgiveness is for you
Forgiveness doesn’t have to mean calling someone up or meeting with someone and telling them that you forgive them. It’s not about the other person.
Forgiveness is about you, not the other person. They don’t have deserve it, they don’t have to ask for it, they don’t even have to be aware that they did something wrong.
If you release the burden and the bitterness, things will change for you. Allow that to happen, don’t let them affect your life anymore.
It doesn’t matter what they did, what matters is whether or not, you’ll let them keep having an impact on your life.
You are not their judge, jury or executioner.
Depending on your beliefs, you know there is a higher power involved that decides on their fate and their destiny. If you don’t have any say in their destiny, then why carry that bitterness and let it affect your life?
You deserve better. Your kids deserve better, your friends and family deserve better.
Who should you forgive?
You might have to forgive you. For most people, this is the biggest obstacle to their success, if you want to read more about feeling worthy of success, you may want to read this other blog post about it. You might be ashamed for some of the actions that you’ve done in the past. You might not like the way you reacted in a situation or might be proud about you behaved or how you treated someone else. Forgive yourself.
If you don’t, you’ll keep getting in the way of your success. You’ll self sabotage yourself. You’ll procrastinate. Forgive yourself and live the life you deserve to live.
Forgiveness is not a one time act
After reading this, you might choose to forgive someone. You choose to release the bitterness so that you get on with your life. But because we are human, that bitterness creeps back info your life. The person you forgave, didn’t do anything else wrong, you are just still bitter because of how they wronged you. If that happens, you’ll have to forgive them again.
I am a Catholic raised Buddhist. I don’t talk about the bible all that much.
There is passage called The Parable of the Unforgiving Servant from Matthew 18:21 -22.
Then Peter came and said to Him, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.”
I got 2 lessons from this passage.
The first is that someone may wrong you more than once and if you peace in your life, you’ll have to forgive them more than once.
The second is that you may forgive them but they you “forgot” that you forgave them and that bitterness creeps back into your life. For your own success, for your own peace of mind, you’ll have to forgive them again.
Forgiveness will set you free.
If you get out of your own way, you’ll stop the self sabotage. You’ll start being succesful like you deserve. Forgive everyone that you carry bitterness with (no matter how big so small that bitterness is) especially yourself and your life will change.
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