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Feeling worthy and forgiving myself has been very pivotal in me being able to move on and up in my life. It’s something that I’m still working on today.
Some of you already know some of my story. In 2008, when my son was born, I lost everything. I lost my home, I lost my marriage, lost my car. I ended up living in my friends basement. It took me a while to get out of that funk.
I felt guilty and embarrassed that I lost it all. I always told myself that I’ll forgive myself once I get out of this situation. I’ll forgive myself once I make the money back again. I had it backwards.
I had to forgive myself first so I was able to improve my life.
I go into more details about this in a blog post called Stop Doing This Or Fail Forever.
Once I realized this, I made a decision. I forgave myself.
The problem was that I would often forget that I forgave myself and feel guilty again. I was saying the words but I wasn’t really feeling it.
How To Forgive Yourself
One exercise that I heard about and now use is to think about all of the good that has happened surrounding the action that you are feeling guilty about.
What if you accidentally hit someone with your car and break a guys leg?
You feel guilty about it. Some people might carry around the guilt and feel unworthy of success. This feeling could last months, years or even a whole lifetime. Keeping the guilt could affect your whole life.
What if you run into the guy 20 years later. His leg is healed. Long healed. You apologize to him and he tells you that he met the love of his life because you hit him with the car. He ended up marrying the one of the nurses that took care of him. Not only is he not mad that you, he is thankful that you did it. All these years, you’ve been feeling guilty when you could have forgiven yourself.
Everything happens for a reason so think of the benefits of what ever you feel guilty about.
If you can’t see the benefits, then open your mind. Are you so small minded that you can’t think of any benefits of your misfortunes or wrong doings?
Losing everything taught me that friends and family are more important than wealth. Some people already know that but I had to lose everything to really realize it. Some of my favorite times are when I had no money and I was just hanging on by my fingernails trying to survive. When I took care of my son, I couldn’t afford to take him to the movies or to eat out. Instead we went to the park or we went to a splash pad near by. He loved it. I wish I could turn back the clock and relive it.
What else did I learn? I learned what it feels like to have nothing. I have empathy. I learned how to be resourceful. It makes me stronger at sales because I can help someone “find” the money if they don’t have any.
What ever you feel guilty about, stop. Just stop.
Time spent feeling guilty about something that you cannot change is time wasted.
You owe it to yourself and the people you love to forgive yourself. If you forgive yourself, you’ll lead a fuller, happier life. You’ll stop unconsciously self sabotaging your success.
You owe it to the world forgive yourself. What if you were one of the ones who could end world hunger or cure cancer only you didn’t because you didn’t feel worthy enough?
Don’t make the whole planet suffer and miss out on your greatness because you feel guilty.
Just forgive yourself. I have a son so I selfishly want you to forgive yourself so that you can make the world a better place.
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