Dealing with Disappointment
Disappointment can be paralyzing to one’s success. Sometimes, you can be working hard towards your dream, you’ve built up some momentum, you are working hard and you are reaching some goals and then suddenly, it stops.
That goal, that you’ve had your heart on achieving, the one that you’ve been thinking about. The goal that’s been on your mind for quite a while now. You’ve missed and didn’t achieve it.
This disappointment sinks your mood and with the sinking of your mood, your activity slows down or even stops. At this point, many people quit. They give up on their goals. Others quit too but they think that they are quitting “just for now” but the urgency within them never returns and their dream is lost. At least for now. Some restart and begin to work towards their dreams again. Some after a couple days, others a couple weeks, others a couple months and for some it could take years or even decades. The time that you spend, wallowing in disappointment is time that is being wasted. The faster you can rebound and bounce back into productivity mode determines how much faster you get to achieve your dream. So it’s best to keep your periods of disappointment few and short. But how do you do that?
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Disappointment Is Planned
It might sound counterintuitive when you first hear it but all disappointment is planned. Some will wonder and think, “How can that be? No one starts a project and plans to be disappointed by the results. Disappointment isn’t planned.”
If you are addicted to an outcome that you cannot control then you are setting yourself up for disappointment. It isn’t a guarantee of disappointment but when you don’t have ultimate control over the results then you are setting yourself up.
I’m from Toronto. The Toronto Maple Leafs is our NHL team. They haven’t won the Stanley cup in a long time. I have no control over whether they win or whether they lose. If I am addicted to them winning the Stanley Cup this year, then I might get disappointed. Whether I know it or not, I’m setting myself up for disappointment.
What if I placed my addiction on something that I can control instead of of something that I can control?
Be Addicted To Your Actions
If I’m a song writer, I would be setting my self up for failure if I’m addicted to getting a top 40 hit this year. I can influence those results a little bit but I can’t control them. I can’t guarantee those results. If instead I’m addicted to something that I can control like the number of songs I write this year, then I won’t be setting myself up for disappointment. I could commit to writing 12 songs this year which is 1 song a month. That’s something I can definitely control.
The secret to avoiding disappointment is to be addicted to your actions. Don’t be addicted to the results of your actions.
Another way of looking at it is to be grateful and appreciative of your blessings.
Trade your expectations for appreciations. ~Tony Robbins
Instead of expecting a top 40 hit and risk being disappointed, I can be grateful that I have written 12 songs this year and not be disappointed.
Learn to appreciate your activities rather. than your accomplishments.
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